Feedback Thoughts

An engraving of a frightened man and an angry man. 

Engraving C. Le Brun, c. 1760. Link.

One of the key problems in receiving feedback is the consideration of any comments that are not 100 percent positive as personal attacks. People tend to put a lot of stock in their ideas and so have their own pride bound up in them. Of course, I'm not immune to this. I'm still in the process of growing a thicker skin and thinking of constructive criticism as just that: constructive. This will probably always be an ongoing process. I can't imagine ever taking constructive criticism completely impersonally.

When it comes to taking criticism, we do need to consider the fact that few people truly want to destroy our self-value or cause us harm. In all likelihood, they only want to help us improve, especially if they're fellow students or friends. Guy Winch makes an important point about stressing our own value in the face of criticism. While we may need to improve in some area, it doesn't mean that we're failures in everything. Everyone can improve in some area, even if they're considered the best at it. Criticism may not be fun to receive, but it provides more insight into how we can develop. If the criticism is purely negative, we can learn how not to criticize a person's efforts.

As the Impraise article and Carol Dweck have said, a good, healthy reception of criticism requires a growth mindset. By thinking of one's self as a static creature, incapable of improving and always harboring the same weaknesses or strengths, we limit our belief in ourselves. I had never considered the link between this belief in stability of abilities and the tendency to take constructive criticism in either a positive or negative manner. Now, it seems only natural that we should consider ourselves as constantly developing and so take constructive criticism, and even less friendly criticism, as an opportunity to reflect on where we stand in our development, where we've been, and where we want to go.

Here are a couple of my tips for accepting criticism and using it in a helpful manner:

1. Don't think that whatever abilities you hold now will never improve. I've often found myself guilty of thinking that I would never improve in some subject. If you think your skill is forever set at a certain level, criticism takes on a more negative and personal appearance, even if the person only wants to help you improve.

2. Whether it's well-stated or poorly stated, consider the criticism. Criticism, toxic or constructive, can help you learn how to criticize others. Of course, you don't want to tell someone something like "This is completely terrible." If you do receive criticism like this, your probable emotional pain (however mild) can tell you how less than constructive criticism will be taken by other people.

3. When criticizing other people, make sure that you mention what you like about their work, lest they think you dislike all of it. It's important for those being criticized know that there is at least one thing they did right and that they have the ability to improve it. Failing to mention any positive aspects could lead to their becoming defensive and so unwilling to listen or accept any criticism.


Bibliography

Impraise. "Overcoming the fear of feedback."
Link: http://blog.impraise.com/360-feedback/overcoming-the-fear-of-feedback-performance-review

Winch, Guy. "Why rejection hurts so much — and what to do about it." Link: http://ideas.ted.com/why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-what-to-do-about-it/?utm_campaign=social